Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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