Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
