Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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