Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
