You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
