I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
