Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope

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(248): View more from Michigan

so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.

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(303): View more from Colorado

He felt like a one man threesome

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.

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19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children
Read it at the TFLN blog
(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.

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(301): View more from Maryland

Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.

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(707): View more from California

You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative

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(810): View more from Michigan

in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...

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