Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.