Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
