I can text with my tongue
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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