Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
