so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
