why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
