do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
