I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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