I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
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