he wants to bone in the snuggie
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
