omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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