Yo dont text me then not text me
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
