clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize