it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I won't apologize to a one balled man
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
