Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
