yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
