just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Pooping to opera.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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