he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
