youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
