How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
