I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
