i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
