when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I think I sprained my soul last night
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
