Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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