there's paper in my vomit.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
