Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
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I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
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Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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