I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
