All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
