you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..