i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
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i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
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He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!