Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.