I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
