I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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