Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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