Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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