Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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