That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Houston, we have a blender
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
