Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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