This girl is more easily done than said...
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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