I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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