dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i used baking grease as lip gloss
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
