...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
