we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
