adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
