i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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