I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
