yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
