I'm drive I can fine osifer
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
so much tequila, so little girl.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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