he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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