I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
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I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
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i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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