Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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