They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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