How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
