Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
