I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
