new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
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