When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
