god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
