FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
