sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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