I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
